Where Are My Keys?

$100 says she's "pro-choice"..

 

"Plastic" turkey*, version 2.0..

Hillary! won't get anything close to the mockery Bush did with her photo-op, because she's a Democrat. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*The turkey was real, and not made of plastic, for those that don't know.

Stick with the "Two-Buck Chuck"?

Dude gets popped for making fake wine in his kitchen, and then selling it to collectors:

An international wine dealer has been jailed for 10 years for fraud after selling fake vintages and cheating fellow connoisseurs out of tens of millions of dollars.

Rudy Kurniawan, 37, an Indonesian-born businessman, had been considered one of the top wine collectors in the world, becoming famed for his palate and ability to identify fine wines.

But it emerged he had been blending the contents of cheap bottles in the kitchen of the home he shared with his mother.

He then placed the blends in old bottles, stuck fake labels on them and claimed they were rare vintages, selling them for vast sums.

Not really helping your argument there, Congresswoman..

Jan Schakowsky shows how she is "suffering" when it comes to eating during a "Live the Wage" stunt:

Anything on there that you don't have on your weekly menu?

The reality is that if more people on food stamps had a menu similar to the Congresswoman, we would probably have less obesity and fewer incidences of diabetes.

What a joke the Democrat Party has become in the last few decades.

I guess Ms. Schakowsky has more meals ath The Palm, than at home.

Funny, isn't it?

When was the last time you saw a cigarette vending machine?  Soon in Colorado, you'll be able to buy pot edibles out of one, and I'm willing to bet you'll see them popping up everywhere.

Not to worry though, as we are being told that not just anyone can buy the goods:

“We’re looking forward to using the ZAZZ machine to easily track all this inventory … we’re gonna eliminate the middle man. It’ll go straight from the budtender right into our machine. There’s no room for theft by patients, employees … there’s no way to lose track of the inventory,” says Herbal Elements owner Greg Honan.

Buying a pot brownie won’t be as easy as sticking in a few quarters like  you would do for a Snickers candy bar.

You’ll need to have a valid medical marijuana card and your ID will have to be verified before you can get anything out of the vending machine.

Great!  We've done such a good job keeping alcohol out of the hands of minors, I'm sure these "methods" will be just as successful.

Oof.

A Nebraska woman eats 363 chicken wings in 30 minutes to win the "Wing Bowl"..

363 wings in 30 minutes?  I refer to that as "Wednesday".

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visits Denver..

 

I hope the recipes weren't harmed..

Sounds like things were handled in short order, but MAN.  Could have been a disaster of epic porportions had the blaze gone on:

A fire has been reported prior to 11 a.m. this morning at 1310 Surf Avenue in Coney Island, Brooklyn, the home of Nathan's Famous, the frankfurter merchant. The building had been undergoing extensive repairs and renovation following Hurricane Sandy, and had not been yet opened for business. The fire was soon declared under control, and no damage estimates are yet available.

"Shaken", not stirred?

If you are looking to add an extra "pop" to your cocktails..

In his new book "Semenology: The Semen Bartender's Handbook," Bay Area author Paul "Fotie" Photenhauer details the benefits of bartending with, you guessed it, human semen.

A follow-up to his first book, "Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen Based Recipes," "Semenology" is what Photenhauer describes as "the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits."

In the book, Photenhauer provides semen storage and flavor enhancement tips, as well as plenty of deliciously titled recipes like the Macho Mojito, the Slightly Saltier Caviar and the Galliano Cum Shot. (We couldn't make this stuff up.)

But why?

Photenhauer argues that the complexities of semen could be compared to those in wine or cheese, and that the ingredient adds a special "personal touch."

So is the closing bartender responsible for "restocking" before he goes home?  This reminded me of the classic scene from Hollywood Knights:

 

Will we soon see yogurt with this type of bacteria added?

Pretty cool findings:

A study of lab mice, published on Wednesday, begs to differ. It concludes that one of the most common and effective forms of bariatric surgery, called Roux-en-Y gastric bypass, melts away pounds not - or not only - by re-routing the digestive tract, as long thought, but by changing the bacteria in the gut.

Or, in non-scientific terms, the surgery somehow replaces fattening microbes with slimming ones.

If that occurs in people, too, then the same bacteria-changing legerdemain achieved by gastric bypass might be accomplished without putting obese patients under the knife in an expensive and risky operation.

"These elegant experiments show that you can mimic the action of surgery with something less invasive," said Dr. Francesco Rubino of Catholic University in Rome and a pioneer in gastric-bypass surgery. "For instance, you might transfer bacteria or even manipulate the diet" to encourage slimming bacteria and squelch fattening kinds, said Rubino, who was not involved in the study.